The Rise of Endymion

The Rise of Endymion reminds me of two other books: 1) Earth Made of Glass by John Barnes (because of the characters: a cruel woman and a stupid man who loves her), and 2) Destination: Void by Frank Herbert (because of the metaphysical nonsense.) I hate those books. I hate The Rise of Endymion too, for the following reasons:

1. Raul Endymion is stupid. The plot only works because Raul is unable to comprehend what is in plain sight.
2. Aenea is a hateful little messiah. If I ever come across a messiah so whiney, so eager to lie to her disciples, or so willing to let innocent people die rather than lift a finger to help, I will gladly deliver her over to her enemies. You needn't tempt me with thirty pieces of silver, I shall betray her out of the goodness of my heart. Aenea deserves everything she gets.
3. Faux Eastern spirituality. The Hateful Little Messiah blathers on about the Void Which Binds, and how love is a universal law just like gravity.
4. Deus ex machina. No need to have a coherent plot: Dan Simmons just has the Hateful Little Messiah use some magic whenever he writes himself into a tight spot.
5. Useless scenery. Four pages about the names of mountains on a made-up world!? Why don't you get on with the plot, mmkay?
6. Revisionist authors should be punched in the face. Dan Simmons rewrites the previous Hyperion books by claiming that the poet who told the story--Martin Silenus--lied about everything.
7. Time travel. I hate it, you hate it, everyone hates it. So why does Dan Simmons use it in The Rise of Endymion? Probably because his editor wouldn't let him use any more of Hateful Little Messiah's deus ex machina, so he had to some up with another sleight-of-hand trick to get out of writing a decent plot.
8. Poetry. We all skip the poetry sections, Mr. Dan Simmons. Even the editors.

The last two items are matters of opinion. If you like time travel and poetry (may God save your immortal soul) you still shouldn't read The Rise of Endymion because it is an all-around rotten book.